You know what? I'm TIRED!!!!

As a single woman, and a single BLACK woman in particular, there seems to be a universal concensus that if you are not strong 110%, 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, somehow you are not a "true" Black woman. We have historically carried families and responsibilities on our shoulders and now in this new millennium, we have continued the tradition. More and more women are raising their children alone, balancing budgets, maintaining their cars, doing the yard work, bringing home the bacon, frying it up in the pan, and then CLEANING the pan after everyone has eaten! We do it all...we are Superwomen with a big "S" on our chests and it is something to be proud of. But with that being said, where is the room to feel what some of us REALLY want to feel?

When is it okay to say...you know, I wouldn't mind having some help and I'd like to just get somewhere and SIT DOWN and not have to worry about things for a minute!

My life is a never-ending juggling act. Raising two teenagers, one of which is college bound in the fall, dealing with their hectic social schedules, meeting their needs, nurturing them and at this point becoming their friend and confidant. Add in a full time job, on-line schooling, book writing on the side, and the attempt at a social life, and that adds up to one tired little mama! But I do this because this is my life and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Well...maybe just one TEENY WEENY little thing...

I would like for it to be okay every now and then to just say, "You know what? I'm TIRED!" And this doesn't mean that I want to shun any of my responsibilities or my family, it just means that I would like to take mini breaks from being so strong all the time.

I want to just relax and not think about a bill, work, or an obligation for 24 hour period each week.

I want to be in the company of a man who will treat me like a princess and let me sit in the passenger side and not have to lift a finger for ANYTHING if only for one night.

I want to go and get my hair, nails, and toes done, throw in a massage, a movie, and a shopping spree, and not once beat myself up for spending money on myself that I could have spent on my kids.

I want to sleep until noon and not feel like I should be up cooking, cleaning, or whatever, on a Saturday.

I want to be thin without using that DAMN elliptical machine! (okay..so this has nothing to do with the topic, but I had to throw that in there because I was just thinking about the work-out that I don't want to do tomorrow....)

I want to be able to say out loud, "I not only want a man...I NEED a man because they are stronger, braver, and bigger than I am and I would feel happy and safe with a good one around all the time that would just let me be a lady and protect and care for me" without some woman in the crowd telling me that I need to get out of the 50's and do for myself (Dammit...I've been doing for myself for the past 10 years! I'M TIRED!!!)

And finally...I would like to just be able to genuinely RELAX. Not just what I do when I come home from work (which is cook, clean, work out, mingle with kids, etc., as this could hardly be considered relaxing). I want weekend trips to the mountains, the beach, or where ever, where I can recharge and re-group. I know most people do this kind of thing all the time and some of you reading this might think, "why doesn't she just take a trip and shut the heck up with all this whining?" And I say it's because I'm so busy being a Superwoman 25/8/366 that I can't find the time!!!

Does anybody out there feel me on this one????