The REAL Truth about Online Dating-Seven Stages of Understanding

AS a single woman, I would be lying through my teeth if I didn't admit to having belonged to a social networking site (or two...or three...or four...heck, I've probably been on ALL of them at one point or another!). And with each experience, I went through the same Seven Stages of Understanding. It's almost like the seven stages of grief, but in some cases, the emotions of online dating are far more overwhelming. Here's what I'm talking about:

STAGE ONE: SHOCK AND DENIAL-"Omg...I am really on a dating website! I can't believe I'm taking random pictures of myself in my bathroom mirror attempting to make myself look thinner than I really am just to catch some guy online who may be a weirdo or serial killer! Am I REALLY doing this??? Noo...of course of I'm not! I'm a writer and I'm just doing this to create topics to write about, not because I'm really trying to meet someone. I'm not a complete LOSER!"

STAGE TWO: PAIN AND GUILT-"It is really painful to see all these pictures of men that are clearly at least 10 years old and taken from 10 miles away and then to have them message me and wonder when we will meet. How can I meet them?? I won't even be able to RECOGNIZE them! But I feel so bad and a bit guilty for simply deleting their messages and pretending that I never read them. I wonder do they have the premium membership where they will get a notification of me having opened their message????

STAGE THREE: ANGER AND BARGAINING-"Okay, really??? Did you REALLY just send me ANOTHER "wink" when my profile CLEARLY states "No winks please!" All I asked was that you take the time to send me an ACTUAL MESSAGE! What does you "winking" at me have to do with making any kind of real connection??? Aren't we adults??? USE YOUR WORDS, MY MAN!!!! But wait...okay, even though he DID send that wink, he WAS really cute. And that body wasn't anything to rush by either...maybe I could work with him and give him a chance. Maybe he just sent that wink because he's not a paid member yet.....?

STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION-"This is just NOT the answer. None of these men seem to be serious about having a real relationship and all of these sites seem like just one big ol' booty call. I can't believe I let myself get sucked into the madness. I'll never find the man that I want and look at all the money I've wasted joining these so-called "love guarantee" sites. You SUCK Match.com (yeah, I called you out!!!)

STATE FIVE: THE UPWARD TURN-"Okay, so that message I got from Kevin was actually pretty decent. He seems like a nice, normal guy, he had a recent picture (and had ALL of his teeth in his mouth), and even had a good sense of humor. Maybe this isn't so bad after all. And with all the practice I'm getting chatting online, maybe I'll even step it up a notch and take my convo to the streets and meet men in person to eliminate the question of whether or not I'm talking to a man NOW or his image 10 years ago!

STAGE SIX: RECONSTRUCTION AND WORKING THROUGH-"I will only take the time to respond to the actual messages and I'll just delete all the smiles/winks without worrying so much about them. I've decided to take more stock in getting out and doing the things I enjoy in life and meeting men that way than just sitting behind a computer hoping for love. It's more fun to be a part of the REAL world anyway.

STATE SEVEN: ACCEPTANCE AND HOPE-"So maybe these dating sites are not the answer for everyone. Sure there are the love stories of people getting married after meeting on Match or EHarmony, but I'm beginning believe those people are the EXCEPTION and definitely not the RULE. For me, I've learned that just living my life is the only way that I will come into contact with the man who was made for me. And I have enough hope to believe that he's just around the corner. :-)

Nuff said.